Fear Factor: DNAngel
by Lazy Kitsune
Summary: All the contestants must face their fears and succeed in the stunts! Winner receives a big prize in the end! For who is fear not a factor?
1. Meet the Contestants And Our Host Joe

**Fear Factor: DNAngel**

**By Lazy Kitsune**

**Summary: **All the contestants must face their fears and succeed in the stunts! Winner receives a big prize in the end! For who is fear not a factor?

**Disclaimer: **I don't own DNAngel or Fear Factor. (sniff)

**A/N: **Hello and welcome to my first DNAngel fic! I hope you like it, please enjoy!

**Warnings: **Very graphic, _EXTREME_ cases of character bashing (coughrisacough), bad language, suggestive themes, very mild hints of shonen-ai (that probably turned off a _lot_ of readers by now), mild violence, rated T for Teen, not for the faint of heart

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**Chapter 1 – Meet the Contestants (And Our Host Named Joe)**

"Hello, and welcome to Fear Factor: DNAngel!" greeted our host named...uh, Joe. "I'm...Joe...and I'll be your host for this show! Let's meet our contestants, shall we? Come on out!" Nine people came walking dramatically towards Joe. "Wait...I thought there was supposed to be ten...Ah, well, introduce yourselves!"

"Hi, my name is Daisuke Niwa!" the little redheaded boy said. "Fear is not a fac – ow!" He was suddenly interrupted with a slap by a tall, dark, handsome contestant.

"Hey, my name is Dark Mousy, and I am so much cooler than this little guy!" said the tall, dark, handsome contestant. "I am also currently single! Look at me! I'm young and handsome and looking for a quality girl! Ladies, come to me – ow!" It was his turn to be interrupted with a slap by another contestant.

"Shut it, you perv!" a girl with short brown hair snapped. Then she noticed she was on TV. "Uh...Hi! My name is Riku Harada!"

"And I'm Risa Harada!" said the girl who looked like Riku only with longer hair. "Don't I look cute on TV?" she turned to ask Riku but got mad when she saw her sister's hand on Dark's cheek. "WHAT THE F(!" she screamed. "RIKU! HOW DARE YOU TOUCH MY PRECIOUS, PRECIOUS –"

"Wassup?" greeted a boy with short spiky hair and a camera around his neck. "I'm Takeshi, and I'm gonna be the world's best photographer!"

"I'm Satoshi Hiwatari," said a blue haired boy with glasses in a monotone voice.

"Hi, I'm Krad," said the guy with long, beautiful, blonde hair. "I'll do whatever it takes to kill Dark and have Satoshi all to myself. Isn't that right, Satoshi-chan?" he asked, gently caressing Satoshi's cheek. Satoshi merely slapped his hand away.

"Hello!" said the tall lady behind Daisuke. "I'm Emiko Niwa, Daisuke-chan's mom!" She grabbed the dark haired man standing next to her. "And this is Kosuke Niwa, my husband! Say hi honey!"

"Hi?" said Kosuke.

"Is that all the contestants?" Joe asked. An off-screen guy nodded. "Funny...I coulda sworn there was supposed to be ten..."

"Kyuu!" a cute little voice called out.

"Yeah, yeah, 'kyuu' to you too," Joe grumbled, still puzzled over the slight shortage of contestants. "Hmmm..."

A little rabbit-like creature jumped up and down, trying desperately to get on the camera. "Kyuu, kyuu!" it kept calling out.

"Aww...ain't that cute?" Joe asked sarcastically. He picked it up. "Look, bub, beat it or you'll end up in my soup!"

"Wiz!" Daisuke cried out, trying desperately to get away from the fight among Dark, Riku, and Risa. "You made it!" He snatched Wiz from Joe's hand and hugged him.

"You mean _this_ is our tenth contestant?" Joe asked in disbelief.

"Yup!" Daisuke answered happily.

"Oy vey..." Joe muttered, rubbing his temples. "Whatta way to start..."

Oh no! Our host is already suffering a headache! What surprises are in store for our contestants? Tune in next time to find out in Fear Factor!

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**A/N:** I hope that was okay. Please review!


	2. Qualification Stunt: Kosuke

**Fear Factor: DNAngel**

**By Lazy Kitsune**

**Summary:** All the contestants must face their fears and succeed in the stunts! Winner receives a big prize in the end! For who is fear not a factor?

**Disclaimer:** I don't own DNAngel or Fear Factor. (sniff)

**A/N:** Thank you so much for reviewing! Thanks for all the encouragement and tips! This chapter is when the real stuff begins. The first stunt...and more Risa bashing! Yay!

-

**Chapter 2 – Qualification Stunt: Kosuke**

"Okay," Joe said after 15 aspirins later. "Let's get this started." The Black-Eyed Peas (who I don't own) start playing the background. "I didn't ask for background music!" The music stopped.

"I wonder what we have to do...?" Daisuke asked no one in particular.

"Kyuu..." Wiz said.

"What do you think, _moron!"_ Dark snapped sharply, bonking poor Dai-kun on the head. "We do the first stunt!"

"Actually, it's the qualification stunt," Joe said matter-of-factly. All the contestants except Satoshi murmured in worried hushed voices among themselves. "It's actually very simple," our host began. "You must complete the qualification stunt in order to actually participate in our show. The stunt..."

"...What kind of stunt is it?" Kosuke asked, suddenly wanting to run all the way back home.

"Don't be such a worrywart, sweetie!" Emiko told him in an attempt to encourage him. "It can't be dangerous!"

"...is very dangerous and we can't guarantee your survival," Joe finished. Kosuke paled as Emiko laughed nervously.

"...You mean you can't guarantee _his_ survival?" Satoshi suddenly asked, indirectly mentioning Krad.

"Basically."

Satoshi's face lit up, which wasn't very different from his normal expression, but oh well, it's just a figure of speech.

"Oh no!" Risa cried in distress. "A very dangerous stunt! This kind of stress isn't good for my complexion!"

"...Then just quit already," some random puppet of the author named Koko grumbled as he passed by.

"Oh, but I can't!" Risa said. "That will leave my precious, precious Dark alone with my evil sister Riku!"

"I think _you're_ the evil sister from the two of you," Koko told her, folding his arms and raising an eyebrow.

Risa glared and tried to beat him up, but Koko, being the author's puppet of randomness, gave her a black eye and ran off. Risa shook her fist at Koko's disappearing figure on the horizon. "Damn you, you...you...you puppet!" She pulled out a mirror and screamed. "OMIGOSH I have a black eye!" she cried out and burst into tears.

"Oh would you just _grow up!"_ Riku snapped. "It's just a black eye, it's no biggie!"

"That's easy for an ugly, manly girl like _you!"_ Risa retorted, sticking out her tongue at her _identical_ twin sister.

"What did you call me!" Riku asked angrily and beat the crap out of Risa without waiting her answer. Now Risa is crying about two black eyes.

"...I don't get paid enough for this," Joe grumbled. "Okay, here's the stunt! You must drink this glass of milk!" Everyone anime fainted.

"I thought you said it was dangerous!" Daisuke accused.

"Oh my gosh, a glass of milk!" Dark said sarcastically. "How dangerous!"

"Kyuu!" Wiz agreed.

"I've faced more dangerous things on my dinner plate," Kosuke chuckled. Emiko hit him with a paper fan.

"...I seriously don't get paid enough," Joe repeated to himself. "Let me finish, you dumb characters! You must drink this glass of _expired_ milk while riding a unicycle _blindfolded_ on that tightrope over electrocuted water!"

The "Psycho" theme played as all the contestants looked at the unicycle, followed the tightrope over the electrocuted water, and stared at the glass of milk...I mean, _expired_ milk. "..."

"The one who gets the fastest time automatically gets to the next round. The one with the slowest time doesn't. Oh, and of course, if you die, we'll send you...or what's left of you...to your family, where you can have a nice, er...time..." Joe said. "We have randomly selected who goes first..." A random guy came and whispered something in Joe's ear. "Oh, it seems that our machine that randomly selects contestants is broken, so you all have to do Eenie-Meenie-Minie-Mo to decide."

The contestants got into a circle and put their feet in. "Ready?" Daisuke asked. "Here we go...Eenie, meenie, minie, mo, catch a tiger by the toe, if it hollers let it go, eenie, meenie, minie...mo!"

Five minutes later, everyone but Emiko and Satoshi were crying their eyes out. Emiko wasn't crying because she got picked to go last, and Satoshi...well, he's Satoshi, he doesn't cry.

"Okay, whoever goes first has to get on the unicycle!" Joe announced.

Kosuke wiped his eyes and blew his nose. "Okay, here I go," he said. He turned to Daisuke, Emiko, and Wiz. "I love you, my dear family!"

"Make us proud, dear!" Emiko cheered.

So Kosuke got blindfolded, got on the unicycle, and took the glass of expired milk from Joe. He took a deep breath and called out, "I'm ready!"

"Okay, Kosuke, good luck!" Joe called out. "Any last words – I mean, questions?"

"...Do I really have to do this?"

"YES! Get on your way now!" Joe kicked the unicycle, forcing Kosuke to start. A little timer to the lower left hand corner started. No, _your_ left.

Everyone watched with their mouths open. Kosuke was barely balancing on the rope with the unicycle. Then he almost lost his balance.

"NOOOOO! DAD!" Daisuke cried, hugging his mom.

"You're doing great, Kosuke-kun!" Emiko called out.

"Kyuu!" Wiz shouted to him.

"STOP TALKING TO ME!" Kosuke shouted in a desperate voice. Right before he got to the end, he accidentally spilled the milk all over his face. "Aw, no!" he moaned, as he took off the blindfold.

"And...time!" Joe called. "Since you still managed to empty the glass before you finished, so Kosuke, you pass to the next round with a time of 1 hour, 3 minutes, and 38 seconds!"

Kosuke collapsed. "I'm...I'm alive...!" he panted in relief.

"Okay, next person!" Joe said. Satoshi walked up to the unicycle.

"Best of luck, Satoshi-sama," Krad called to him.

Satoshi ignored him and said, "I'm ready."

"The time to beat is 1:03:38, Satoshi," Joe said. "Are you ready?"

Satoshi pulled out a notebook. "I believe I said I was ready 15 seconds ago," he replied calmly.

A vein throbbed on Joe's head as he said behind clenched teeth, "Get...on...the...unicycle."

The blue haired boy shrugged as he pocketed the notebook and climbed onto the unicycle. "As you wish."

-

**A/N:** Next will be Satoshi's qualification stunt! Will he succeed? Probably, but come back anyways, okay? Please review! Feel free to ask questions or suggest stunts, too!


	3. Qualification Stunt: Satoshi

**Fear Factor: DNAngel**

**By Lazy Kitsune**

**Summary:** All the contestants must face their fears and succeed in the stunts! Winner receives a big prize in the end! For who is fear not a factor?

**Disclaimer:** I don't own DNAngel or Fear Factor. (sniff)

**Warnings:** Very graphic, _EXTREME_ cases of character bashing (coughrisacough), bad language, suggestive themes, very mild hints of shonen-ai (that probably turned off a _lot_ of readers by now), mild violence, rated T for Teen, not for the faint of heart

**A/N:** Thank you all so much for your reviews! (blows kisses) Well, in the last chapter, did Emiko act a little out of character? I can't really see her as the type of person who worries...I see her more like the type that goes like, "Don't give up! It'll work out!" type. Does that make sense, Hakudoshi-chan? I think you had a question about it...Oh, and this chapter will answer your question, mis ami. Okay, please enjoy this next installment of the story (I just can't be bothered to write out title).

-

**Chapter 3 – Qualification Stunt: Satoshi**

As Satoshi took off his glasses, random fangirls swooned. He handed his glasses over to Daisuke. "Take care of them," he said with a small hint of a smile. Daisuke looked at him confused as Riku glared at Satoshi.

"Is he hitting on Daisuke?" Riku asked Risa, but her sister didn't answer, for she was too busy swooning over Dark and Satoshi.

"Isn't Dark just the dreamiest?" Risa asked with hearts in her eyes. "Isn't Satoshi just handsome without his glasses?"

"Oy vey," Riku said, rubbing her temples.

"Bwahahaha!" Dark laughed. "All women love me! They all swoon at the thought of...me...Erm, hello?" he said, his voice trailing off as Riku and Daisuke glared at him.

"Okay, Satoshi, are you ready?" Joe asked after the beautiful, blue-haired bishie had balanced on the unicycle.

"I believe I said I was ready in the previous chapter," he told our host.

Joe death glared Satoshi, but immediately stopped when he noticed Krad was death glaring him. "Just start."

The little timer returned as Satoshi began paddling on the unicycle, miraculously balancing the whole way through. Just before he reached the end, he gulped down the glass of milk..._expired_ milk. He jumped off the unicycle and walked up to Daisuke to retrieve his glasses.

"Here you go!" Daisuke said, smiling that cute lil' smile he always does as he returned Satoshi's glasses.

Satoshi's mouth curved into a small smile as he accepted them. "Thanks."

Krad walked to Satoshi and caressed his cheek from behind. "You had me so worried, Satoshi-sama."

All traces of Satoshi's smile disappeared as he slapped Krad's hand away and stood between Riku and Daisuke. He gave Krad dirty looks from his spot. Hmmm...I don't know who to feel sorry for, Satoshi, Krad, or Riku and Daisuke.

"Good job, Satoshi!" Joe said. "You made it in 4 minutes, 35 seconds. That's less than 5 minutes, unlike the last guy..." He glanced quickly over to Kosuke (who was still trying to regain his normal heart rate) and then turned over to the next contestant. "Okay, Dark, you're next." Random fangirls and Risa screamed in the background. Joe called security and steroidy-like guys came out of nowhere, shooting them with tranquilizers.

"You didn't have to do that to my fans," Dark said.

"Just start."

"Okay."

-

**A/N:** Short, I know, but there's not much to say about Satoshi. He's so...what's the word..._PERFECT._ Yeah, that's Satoshi. Next is Dark. Please review!


	4. Qualification Stunt: Dark

**Fear Factor: DNAngel**

**By Lazy Kitsune**

**Summary:** All the contestants must face their fears and succeed in the stunts! Winner receives a big prize in the end! For who is fear not a factor?

**Disclaimer:** I don't own DNAngel or Fear Factor. (sniff)

**Warnings:** Very graphic, _EXTREME_ cases of character bashing (coughrisacough), bad language, suggestive themes, very mild hints of shonen-ai (that probably turned off a _lot_ of readers by now), mild violence, rated T for Teen, not for the faint of heart

**A/N:** Thank you to everyone who reviewed! (gets hit by random objects thrown by readers) Ack! I'm sorry! I'm so sorry it took me so long to post this up! I can list all the reasons, but this isn't about me. This is about Dark, right? That's right. Please enjoy...those who are left...

**WARNINGS FOR THIS CHAPTER:** A gay helper guy and something that may be disappointing for a certain guy's fans...

**Chapter 4 – Qualification Stunt: Dark (hey, we're still on the qualification stunts!)**

Dark got on the unicycle, but when the gay helper dude (let's call him Bobo) tried to blindfold him, Dark dodged him.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa!" Dark said, warding off the Bobo. "Whoa!"

"What, what, what?" asked Bobo in a high voice. "What?"

"I don't do guys," Dark replied.

"Of courthe you don't," Bobo pouted (he has a lisp), "and thath thuch a pity. Now, let me blindfold you –"

"I don't think you get me," said the phantom thief, evading Bobo once again. "I don't like it when other guys try to touch me."

Bobo looked offended. "Excuthes moi?" (**A/N:** I'm so sorry kitedragon! (cries) I promise this'll be the last time!)

"No offense, man."

"Fine, fine, Mr. Phantom Thief," Bobo said, still sounding offended. "Hey, you!" he said, pointing at Riku.

"Me?" Riku asked, pointing at herself.

"Yeah, you, put thith on him," Bobo said, tossing the blindfold to Riku. "I quit!" He stormed off.

"Hey!" Daisuke said in resentment.

"Hey now," Dark said in amusement. "Come on, Blindfold Girl...blindfold me!"

Riku scowled and blindfolded Dark. Daisuke glared at Dark as he grinned.

"I hate you," Dai told Dark.

"She was originally mine," Dark retorted. "You were in love with the dumb, useless one." Daisuke lowered his head in shame. "That's right, go back to her!" Dark taunted. "Riku is rightfully mine!"

"I don't belong to anyone!" Riku said angrily and kicked the unicycle, starting Dark off. And guess what – the timer went off on your left!

Dark was out of balance first, but then he eventually got his balance back and miraculously got through it without a scratch in...30 seconds.

"HAHAHAHA!" Dark laughed, even though his heart was beating 100 beats per second. "I'm the best, right guys!"

"You got the fastest time, Dark," Joe said slowly.

"Whoo-hoo!" Dark cheered like Homer Simpson.

"But..." Joe said.

"...But...what?"

"But you didn't finish the milk."

Dark stared at him for a moment, trying to digest what he had just been told. "So you're saying...I..._lost?"_

"Yes," Joe said, putting on a fake sorry face. "I'm very sorry."

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Dark shouted.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" his fangirls screamed, coming out of nowhere.

"I thought we drugged them," Joe said to Bobo.

Bobo pouted. "Tho did I," he said, putting his hand on his hip and flipping his head. "But apparently they came back."

"Oh well, you're disqualified, Dark, so go down the Walk of Shame," Joe told him, his voice strangely echoing on "Shame". He pointed at the Walk of Shame (dun dun dun!), which was actually the road they took to get to there from the hotel, but Joe likes to be dramatic.

"You may have gotten me this time," Dark said in a deep, freaky voice, "but I'll be back! Stronger and smarter and more handsome and..." His incoherent babbling trailed off as he walked down the Walk of Shame (dun dun dun!).

"That was fun," Joe said to Bobo.

"Whatever," Bobo said, putting his arm up and bending his wrist in dismissal.

"Next is...Miss Harada!" Joe said.

"Huh?" said Riku.

"Eeeek!" screamed Risa.

"Which one are you talking about?" Daisuke asked.

"The smart one," Joe replied.

"That must be me," Riku and Risa said at the same time. They glared at each other and started a catfight. But Riku won in like...5 seconds after giving Risa a bruise on her arm.

"Well, at leath that one loud guy ain't here," Bobo said, taking out a cigarette and smoking it. "Even though he _wath_ cute."

"I thought you quit..." Kosuke said to Bobo.

"Which one is it!" the Harada twins asked furiously.

"It's..."

**A/N:** Which twin is it? Hahaha, Dark was disqualified. I'm so sorry Dark fans! And I'm doubly sorry to all readers for taking so long on this! (gets on knees and bows to the ground) PLEASE FORGIVE MEEEEEEEEEEE!


	5. Qualification Stunt: R Harada

**Fear Factor: DNAngel**

**By Lazy Kitsune**

**Summary:** All the contestants must face their fears and succeed in the stunts! Winner receives a big prize in the end! For who is fear not a factor?

**Disclaimer:** I don't own DNAngel or Fear Factor. (sniff)

**Warnings:** Very graphic, _EXTREME_ cases of character bashing (coughrisacough), bad language, suggestive themes, very mild hints of shonen-ai (that probably turned off a _lot_ of readers by now), mild violence, rated T for Teen, not for the faint of heart

**A/N:** I finally got some time to work on this! Sorry about it, I just…YEEEEEEEEEEEK! (gets bombarded by more random objects thrown by readers) GOMENGOMENGOMENGOMENGOMENGOMENGOMENGOMENGOMENGOMENGOMEN! GOOOOMEEEEEEN NAAAAAAASAAAAAIIII! (BTW, I saw the anime! Why are Riku and Risa's voices so high? They sound like the chipmunks from Disney, I feel bad for them. I like Dark and Dai's voices. So cute!)

**Chapter 5 – Qualification Stunt – R. Harada (which one is it!)**

"...time for the break!" Joe announced. Everyone glared at him. "Okay, actually, it's time for one of the Harada twins' stunt."

"WE KNOW!" all the contestants shouted in unison. "WHICH ONE IS IT!"

"It's..." Joe began, squinting at the paper, "…I can't read this crap. Who wrote this!"

"You did," Bobo answered while filing his nails.

"Joe," the Harada twins said in a kinda freaky unison, "if you don't read that paper right now –"

"Okay, it's Riku," Joe interrupted quickly.

"Ha!" Riku exclaimed. "Told you it was me!"

Risa rolled her eyes. "Whatever," she said in her unnaturally high voice.

"okay, Riku," Joe said, "the time to beat is 1:03:38, Kosuke's (slow) time. If you beat it…well, you get to participate in the real stunts."

"Actually, all thee hath to do ith complete the thunt,' Bobo said as he continued filing his nails.

"You can do that too," Joe told Riku.

"Why didn't you just say that in the first place!" Riku asked angrily.

"Dammit girl, just get started!"

Riku scowled at Joe, smiled at Daisuke, glared at Satoshi, sneered at Risa, and waved to everyone else before getting onto the unicycle, which she found she couldn't balance very well on. She screamed as it slightly tilted to the side.

"Why are you scared!" Risa called out. "You ride your bike to school everyday!"

"I don't have a problem with a _bi_cycle!" Riku called back. "This is a frickin' _uni_cycle!"

"SO!" everyone shouted.

"So!" Riku snapped. "It's different! EEEEEEEEEEEEEEK!" she screamed as the unicycle tilted to the other side.

"Do you want to proceed with the stunt or are you going to forfeit?" Joe asked.

"And let Risa go on?" Riku suggested. "I don't think so!" Then, pulling herself together, she tied the blindfold over her eyes, took the glass of milk…I mean, _spoiled_ milk, and peddled as hard as she could.

Unfortunately, Riku couldn't peddle very hard on a unicycle, so she went over the tightrope at a speed of about 7 miles per hour. Why 7 miles per hour? I don't know, you should ask her.

"Go Riku!" Daisuke cheered.

"Oh, you'd cheer for your _girlfriend,_ but not for your own _father!"_ Kosuke said sarcastically.

"What are you talking about, I cheered for you!" Dai told him, horrified that _his_ father would say such a thing to him.

"Sure, sure," Kosuke said, ending the discussion with a wave of his hand. "I hate being a secondary character…"

After what seemed like 2 hours (but it was probably 1 hour and 59 minutes), Riku finally got over to the other side. She also managed to drink her glass of milk…I mean, _spoiled_ milk, some time during the stunt.

"Congratulations, Riku, you made it in 1 hour, 58 minutes, and 59 seconds," Joe said, "which the author failed to state correctly by 1 second."

"Whoo-hoo!" Riku said, cheering like Homer Simpson.

**A/N:** Whoo, finally finished. This is taking so long… (bows head in shame) …Sorry. Grrr…I never seem to have enough time for this! I'M SO SORRY!


	6. Qualification Stunt: Krad

**Fear Factor: DNAngel**

**By Lazy Kitsune**

**Summary:** All the contestants must face their fears and succeed in the stunts! Winner receives a big prize in the end! For who is fear not a factor?

**Disclaimer:** I don't own DNAngel or Fear Factor. (sniff)

**Warnings:** Very graphic, _EXTREME_ cases of character bashing (coughrisacough), bad language, suggestive themes, very mild hints of shonen-ai (that probably turned off a _lot_ of readers by now), mild violence, rated T for Teen, not for the faint of heart

**A/N:** Sorry for my slowness! I've got a lot of crap going on in my life right now…Thanks for your reviews guys, even though some were pretty scary...Seriously, you're one tough crowd! And, um…ProtoBlues? I don't wanna offend you, but Krad _is_ gay…well, in love with Satoshi may be a more accurate way to state that…He is in the manga at least. And a lot of reviewers had a lot of…er, _interesting suggestions_ about Risa's stunt…. (sweatdrop) …Thanks for the ideas nonetheless!

**Chapter 6 – Qualification Stunt: Krad**

"Way to go, Riku!" Daisuke cheered as she happily skipped over to the others.

"Wasn't I great!" Riku asked, grabbing Dai's hands and jumping about like a lunatic.

"It wasn't that great," Satoshi said in a low voice. "Some of us _only_ finished _faster_ than you, and yet you still jump about like a lunatic."

"Excuse me?" Riku said angrily. "I just came back after seeing my whole life flash before my eyes and you dare critique me like you're some – some high and mighty king of the world!" By now, if anyone hasn't noticed, Riku was hysterical.

"…" came Satoshi's usual reply.

"Um, Riku," Dai said in an attempt to calm down his girlfriend, "please, Satoshi's only trying to calm you down…"

"…Although he exceeds your pathetic, frivolous activities and enervates himself gratuitously to appease your foolhardiness," Krad finished for Daisuke. Everyone (except Satoshi, of course, who was probably the only one there who understood what Krad was saying) stopped what they were doing and gave Krad a confused look.

"Like, who invited the foreigner?" Bobo asked, blowing on his nails. "Thpeak _Englith,_ puh-_lease."_

Krad rolled his eyes. "I said that Satoshi-sama is way above your stupid actions and wears himself out needlessly to calm you down."

"Ohhhhhh…" everyone said, turning back to whatever they were doing before Krad opened his mouth.

"Okay, just for wasting our time, _you're_ going next," Joe stated firmly, pointing at Satoshi.

"I already went on Chapter 3," the blue haired bishonen pointed out.

"Well, well, aren't we smart?" Joe sneered and looked back at the past 3 chapters. "…"

"You ture got told!" Bobo snickered.

"Shut up!" Joe snapped.

"I think you got the wrong person…" Satoshi said, moving his eyes towards Krad.

"What? What's up with your eyes?" Joe asked.

Satoshi nodded his head towards Krad.

"Huh?"

Satoshi sighed angrily and violently jerked his head at Krad.

"I have no idea what's up with your head, buddy."

"For crying out loud, it's HIS turn!" Satoshi exploded, grabbing Krad by the arm.

"Oh."

The poor 14-year-old boy dropped to his knees clutching his head. "Oh, my head….this stress isn't good for me…"

"Okay, go Krad," Joe said. "Before Mr. Stressed Out gets…stressed out."

Krad glared at everyone one more time and got on the unicycle. He blew a kiss to Satoshi before blindfolding himself; Satoshi just deathglared him in return. Krad finished the stunt quickly (of course). How boooring….

"Were you worried?" Krad asked Satoshi, smiling as he took off his blindfold.

Satoshi simply cursed under his breath.

**A/N:** Wow, that was…fast. Or was it? (creepy background music) Okay, knock that off. (music stops) I'm sorry it's taking me so long to write…I _am_ a busy person, you know…And it takes me a long time to come up with what should happen next…Please don't desert me though…Review? Pretty please?


	7. WTF we're still on the qual stunts!

**Fear Factor: DNAngel**

**By Lazy Kitsune**

**Summary:** All the contestants must face their fears and succeed in the stunts! Winner receives a big prize in the end! For who is fear not a factor?

**Disclaimer:** I don't own DNAngel or Fear Factor. (sniff)

**Warnings:** Very graphic, _EXTREME_ cases of character bashing (coughrisacough), bad language, suggestive themes, very mild hints of shonen-ai (that probably turned off a _lot_ of readers by now), mild violence, rated T for Teen, not for the faint of heart

**A/N:** OMG, I am so so so so so so sorry times…ten…to the…infinitith power! (cries) I know, I know, you all want to stone me to death for all this major procrastination! (sobs) I'm lucky if at least one reader is still here…Okay, I'm done being histrionic. Let's see, who hasn't gone yet…?

---------------------------------------------

**Chapter 7 – Qualification Stunt…WTF, we're still on the Qualification Stunts!**

So, before the pathetic authoress went on a vacation for about half a year (I am so sorry!), we left off with Krad finishing his stunt and Satoshi about to jump into the pool of electrocuted water. Oh wait, scratch that last part, Satoshi hasn't gotten to that state of mind…yet…

Anyways, who will be the one to go next? Who will face the challenge, wiling to risk all they have for the elusive grand prize? What a bunch of stupid questions, I should know! I know all! I am the almighty, omniscient storyteller! I know the past, present, and future! I am Oz! I will rule the world! Bow down to your master and –

"Who the heck is writing this crap?" Joe asked, raising an eyebrow. "And why the heck did half a year pass and we're still on the qualification stunts!"

"WTF, we're still on the qualification stunts!" Riku shouted out in her unnaturally high-pitched voice.

"Obviouthlee," Bobo said, rolling his eyes. He was now painting his newly filed nails, just in case anyone is curious.

"Uhh…shouldn't you have lost all your nails by now, filing them for half a year and so?" Daisuke asked.

"Oh pleathe, don't ruin it for me," Bobo snapped. "I'm _only_ the authoress' amazing puppet."

"…"

"ANYways," Emiko said, her usual optimistic smile now turned into a wince after being stuck for half a year, "shouldn't we be trying to figure out who goes next?"

"Or," Kosuke chimed in hopefully, "we can end this sorry excuse of a story and just say someone won…?"

"Then I say I win," Risa said in her Disney- style chipmunk voice.

"You didn't even go up," Satoshi said, trying not to roll his eyes. "It's impossible for you to win."

Risa glared. "You're just jealous!"

Satoshi looked her up and down, and raised an eyebrow. "Of what?"

"Not much, obviously," Krad said, a smug smirk forming on his face as he leaned on Satoshi's shoulder, who merely shrugged him off and glared.

Joe massaged his temples. "Okay, let's just get this over with," he said briskly as Risa opened her mouth. "You – girl with the helium voice who hasn't gone yet –"

Krad snickered as Risa spun around and glared at our stressed out host. "I have a name!"

"Congratulations," Joe said, sarcastically clapping, "now get on the unicycle so we can go already."

Risa sniffed. "No one appreciates a good woman these days," she said histrionically as she got on the unicycle.

Half the people behind her rolled their eyes; the other half mentally flipped her off.

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**A/N:** That was just a chapter to get us back on track. Now…let's see who hasn't lost faith in this pathetic excuse of a lazy authoress…. (wince)


	8. Qualification Stunt: Helium Girl

**Fear Factor: DNAngel**

**By Lazy Kitsune**

**Summary:** All the contestants must face their fears and succeed in the stunts! Winner receives a big prize in the end! For who is fear not a factor?

**Disclaimer:** I don't own DNAngel or Fear Factor. (sniff)

**Warnings:** Very graphic, _EXTREME_ cases of character bashing (coughrisacough), bad language, suggestive themes, very mild hints of shonen-ai (that probably turned off a _lot_ of readers by now), mild violence, rated T for Teen, not for the faint of heart

**A/N:** People still love me! (dances in joy)

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**Chapter 8 – Qualification Stunt: Helium Girl**

"I resent that!" Risa squealed as she glanced at the chapter name.

"Well, why don't you get an army and change it?" Koko asked, suddenly reappearing.

"Where the heck did you come from?" the contestants exclaimed.

"From my mommy," Koko answered smugly.

"Stupid answer, as expected the author," Risa muttered. "No wonder you're her puppet, you probably represent her."

Koko pulled out a gun and started shooting at Risa's feet. "Dance, chipmunk, dance!"

"Eek!" Risa tap-danced all the way to the unicycle and jumped onto it. "Haha! You can't get me here!" Koko shot at the wheels. "Aw crap." Risa began to lose her balance.

"That's what you get for insulting my master!" Koko sneered. "Yess master…I shall do your bidding…Yess, yess…."

"O…kay…" Kosuke said. "That's gotta be the freakiest thing I've ever seen."

"Apparently, you fail to take a closer look upon _him_," Satoshi told him, gesturing towards Krad.

"Well…you've got a point," Kosuke admitted.

"Nooo! I used to love that girl!" Daisuke said hopelessly to Koko.

"Really, you detherf _much_ better," Bobo said, shaking his head.

"Don't worry, Daisuke!" Riku said cheerfully. "You still have me!"

"Don't forget the blindfold!" Joe called. Risa quickly blindfolded herself while trying to balance on the unicycle.

Well, unfortunately for everyone but Risa, the flattened wheels actually made it easier to cross the water because it was able to glide better on the tightrope. So Risa finished that part in about 5 minutes. The hard part for her was the spoiled milk. She managed to (surprisingly) gulp down the spoiled milk in 1 hour and 53 minutes.

"You've gotta be kidding me," Joe murmured. "This is starting to be boring, only that one guy failed."

"Haha!" Risa laughed smugly. "I win!"

"Shut up," Koko said, pulling back the trigger on the gun. "Now, do ballet my little chipmunk!" Koko began shooting at Risa's feet.

"Ow, ow, ow!" Risa began ballet dancing.

"Ooh…ahh…." the other contestants said.

"Anyone else going next?" Joe asked wearily.

"Kyuu!" said a slightly forgotten Wiz from Joe's feet.

"Well, we're already crazy, so why not?" Joe said to no one in particular. He picked up Wiz and tried to smile. Wiz smiled back and peed on Joe. "Aw, son of a -!"

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**A/N:** I wish I wrote this sooner for you all…Thank you for all the lovely reviews! Starting with this chapter, I'll try to reply to all of them! I promise!


	9. Qualification Stunt: Wiz

**Fear Factor: DNAngel  
****By Lazy Kitsune**

**Summary:** All the contestants must face their fears and succeed in the stunts! Winner receives a big prize in the end! For who is fear not a factor?

**Disclaimer:** I don't own DNAngel or Fear Factor.

**A/N:** Uhh, I have nothing to say, except that it's taking me a really long time to come up with this stuff...

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**Chapter 9 – Qualification Stunt: Wiz**

"Let's just get this over with," Joe groaned after assistants from behind the scenes hastily cleaned up the nasty, nasty urine Wiz had previously showered him with.

"There, there, don't be so hard on yourself," Emiko said in an effort to comfort the suffering host. "If this show doesn't get good ratings, at least you can still get work at some fast-food restaurant!"

"Honey," Kosuke began, a sweatdrop forming on his head, "I don't think that's making him feel any better..."

Joe looked tormented.

"Good luck Wiz!" Daisuke cheered as his little...rabbit...friend tried to get onto the unicycle with no luck.

"Hurry up!" Koko shouted, pointing the gun at poor little Wiz.

"WHAT KIND OF PUPPET ARE YOU!" Riku screamed, trying to mess up Koko's aim.

"Stop that!" Dai joined Riku in her effort to save Wiz.

In the meantime, Wiz managed to finally shuffle onto the unicycle, which began to slowly move forward from his weight. Unfortunately, his legs were too short to reach the paddles or the brakes, so the unicycle went out of control as it picked up momentum.

"KYUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!"

Daisuke, Riku, and Koko paused in their struggle and turned to the sound of the helpless cry.

"WIZ!" Daisuke shouted fearfully as Riku let out a scream.

"Wow," Koko said, staring as Wiz...whizzed across the tightrope. "What I would give to never be in his place."

"This is all your fault!" Daisuke shouted angrily at Koko.

"I beg your pardon!"

"If you hadn't tried to shoot him, I could have helped him!" An angry tear managed to come out of his eye.

"Don't turn this into an angsty fic," Koko said in a begging tone. "Please don't."

Wiz covered his eyes as the unicycle sped on. Then, luckily for him, it hit a knot on the tightrope, tossing him into the air.

"Well, at least he'th away from the electric water now," Bobo said, daintily lifting a finger to point at Wiz's poor flying form.

"That's not a good thing either!" Riku snapped. "And how did that knot get there!"

"Ask Helium girl over there," Koko suggested, pointing at Riku's currently disoriented twin who was curled up on a corner, rocking back and forth on her heels talking to herself.

"That weirdo will go away...yes, yes...away, awaaaaaay..." She had an eerie tormented smile on her face.

"She won't be bothering us for a while," Koko said proudly.

"..."

"Ky – !" Wiz was interrupted as he landed headfirst into the glass of milk. I mean, _spoiled_ milk. He tried to get up and shake the glass off his head. In the process, the glass was emptied of its disgusting contents. "Kyuu!" he whined, waddling stressfully to Daisuke.

"You fail!" Joe said to Wiz.

"Why do I get the feeling you're happy about it...?" Daisuke asked suspiciously.

"Doesn't matter...now, tread upon the Walk of Shame!" (dun dun dun!) Joe's voice once again echoed on the word "shame".

Wiz took one last sad look at Daisuke as he walked off on the Walk of Shame. (dun dun dun!)

"Finally, someone got eliminated!" Joe said happily.

"Jerk!" Daisuke shouted.

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**A/N:** That wasn't so good. Maybe I'm losing my touch...? (sobs)


End file.
